One More Chance Read online

  Something was definitely on Paige's mind, had been all evening, Juliana realized. She waited patiently for whatever little problem her daughter might bring up.

  "So," Ben said finally, breaking the silence. He, too, seemed to sense the sudden tension. "How's school, Paige?"

  She looked grateful. "Fine. No problems, Ben."

  "And your volunteer work at the hospital?"

  Her face became animated and excitement brightened her eyes. "I really love it," she declared. "There's so much to learn. And everyone's so nice—the staff and the patients, too."

  Juliana smiled at her daughter, wondering how long it was going to take her to get over this newest enthusiasm. "Just don't let your school work suffer," she advised tolerantly.

  Paige glanced quickly at Ben, who was busy trying to extract fortunes from the remaining cookies without breaking them. "Actually," she said, giving her mother a cautious glance, "that's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

  Ben looked up sharply; Paige recoiled, her wide eyes focused on him. "I know I said I'd wait, Ben, but—"

  Juliana's pulse raced, spreading anxiety throughout her body. "What's going on here?" she demanded more sharply than she intended.

  Paige gulped hard. "You are in a good mood, right?"

  "I was!" Juliana got a grip on herself. It was ridiculous to react before there was anything to react to. "No, I am in a good mood."

  "And I know you've mellowed since you got out of the hospital. You're not nearly so uptight."

  Uptight? Not a descriptive phrase Juliana enjoyed hearing applied to herself, even in the past tense. "Let's stop talking about me and start talking about you," she suggested.

  "Sure, what am I worried about?" Paige gave a hollow laugh. "Mama, I've decided what I want to do with my life."

  "Just what is that supposed to mean?" But Juliana had a sneaking suspicion she knew. She braced herself.

  "I want to be a nurse. I want to help people, Mama. I want to save lives." Paige drew in an enormous breath and slumped down in her chair, her expression a study in relief.

  Juliana's response was automatic and uncensored. "Have you lost your mind?"

  Paige recoiled. "I thought there was at least a chance you'd understand."

  "What's to understand?" Juliana threw up her hands in helpless disbelief. "You want to throw away your potential to empty bedpans?"

  "My potential?" Paige half rose from her chair. "If I have any potential, I can't think of a better use for it than helping other people."

  "Paige, Paige." Juliana shook her head in despair. She forced herself to speak calmly. "Honey, I know you're grateful to the medical profession and so am I, but that doesn't mean you have to go off the deep end about it. There are other ways to say thanks. You don't have to throw away all your plans for a career in business."

  "Not my plans, your plans."

  Now it was Juliana's turn to recoil. "That's not true!"

  Paige thrust out her lower lip. "It is true. I was only majoring in business to please you. Now I know what I really want to do and you can't stop me. It's my life, Mama!"

  It's my life, Mama! How many mothers had flinched at hearing those words, Juliana wondered, including her own.

  Giddy with anxiety, Juliana clutched her hands together in her lap. That her beautiful and intelligent child would even consider throwing everything away to give shots and enemas was inconceivable.

  Ben had stayed out of it to this point, but now he let out his breath in a disgusted snort. "This isn't getting us anywhere," he said flatly. "Why don't you both calm down?"

  "I'm perfectly calm," Juliana said in a tone dripping icicles.

  "Well, I'm-not!" Paige swung her outraged glance between her mother and Ben. "I told you she'd be like this!"

  He shook his head. "And I told you not to spring it on her until the time was right. What did you expect?"

  "Hold it!" Juliana couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You two have discussed this behind my back? I could almost understand if you'd talked to your father, but Ben's not even part of the family."

  Paige lifted her chin. "He is as far as I'm concerned." She turned her face toward him, quick tears sparkling in her eyes. "I owe him more than you can possibly know, Mother. He was there when I needed him. He put his arms around me when I cried and he helped me keep going when I didn't think I could."

  "Paige—" Juliana's voice cracked.

  "No! It's time you heard this." Paige's young face convulsed. "If it hadn't been for him, I'd have lost this entire semester at school—I'd have lost my mind! So his opinion means a lot to me, and he doesn't see anything wrong with nurses. Neither does Daddy."

  Juliana groaned. "I guess everybody knew but good old Mom."

  "Well, Daddy's certainly more reasonable than you are. He thinks medicine is a… a noble calling!"

  Looking at the girl's outraged face, Juliana's own anger began to fade. She felt hopelessly outnumbered, not to mention misunderstood. "Medicine is a noble calling," she agreed. "I never meant to imply otherwise. Nursing just isn't the thing I want for my child. Long hours, low pay, low prestige—"

  "And a chance to help people when they need it most— that's what's important to me. But if it'll make you feel any better, I've been looking into it and nursing offers better pay and more opportunity than ever before. Why can't you be proud of me? You shouldn't be trying to talk me out of it."

  Paige turned vulnerable hazel eyes on her mother. Juliana tried to withstand the appeal she saw there but her resolve weakened.

  Ben shifted, looking uncomfortable, and cleared his throat. "The two of you don't have to decide the course of Paige's life right here and now," he said, his tone coaxing. "Why not sleep on it and—"

  "Will you let me handle this?" Juliana, nerves frazzled, spoke bluntly. She couldn't believe that while she was flat on her back in a hospital bed, he'd usurped her place in her daughter's heart, and so she turned on him now. "You had no right to go behind my back and influence my child."

  "Mother, he didn't!"

  Ben's sarcastic smile deepened the creases in his lean cheeks. "She knows I didn't, Paige. She's just pissed and taking it out on me." He leaned back in his chair, hooking his thumbs on the pockets of his Levi's. His expression remained stoic. "Hit me again," he invited Juliana. "I can take it."

  Seething, Juliana considered her options quickly. Nursing was completely unacceptable for Paige, but if the girl was interested in medicine— why of course! Juliana felt so relieved she almost laughed aloud. "Paige, if you want a career in medicine… why not become a doctor?"

  Paige uttered a furious squeal and jumped to her feet. Juliana rose with her. They faced each other across the table. Ben looked disgusted by this turn of events.

  "You've just insulted nurses everywhere!" Paige declared in ringing tones.

  "I've done no such thing. Doctors do even more good than nurses and they make a hell of a lot more money and have a hell of a lot more prestige."

  "I'm not doing this for money or prestige!"

  "That's because you've never done without them and you don't realize how important they are!"

  "That does it," Ben cut in, his voice fierce. "That's exactly the kind of thing you used to say. So much for change."

  "I have changed!" Her eyes felt like two burning holes in her face and she knew her lips trembled. She glanced from Paige to Ben and back again, desperate for understanding. "Look, I read the newspapers. Nurses are overworked and underpaid—everybody knows that. I don't want that kind of life for Paige."

  The young face grew hard with determination. "Mother, you're a snob."

  "I am not! But I hope I haven't lost my common sense."

  "Ben!" Paige turned an anguished face toward him. "You make her understand!"

  "Hey, don't look at me. Your mother's made it crystal clear that this is strictly a family quarrel." He held up his hands and shook his head, as if determined not to be drawn in again. "Include me out."


  Juliana's lips thinned. "A little late for that, don't you think? Admit it—you agree with her."

  "Not entirely. You see, I wouldn't call you a snob, Juliana." His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. "What I'd call you is a mercenary snob."

  "And I'd call you—"

  "What? Go ahead. Say it."

  She couldn't meet his challenge. She sat down abruptly on her chair and drew a deep breath. "I'm too upset. I've already said things I'll regret." She looked up at her daughter. "Please sit down so we can talk about this."

  "No chance." Paige snatched her purse from the table. Tears glistened on her lashes. "There's nothing to say. I'm sorry you don't approve, but it's my life and I'll do as I please."

  She slammed her empty chair back into place at the table. "I'm spending the night at Daddy's. I'll be home when I calm down." She took a step, then added, "If I calm down."

  "Don't you dare walk out on me… Paige!"

  Paige did just that, without a backward glance. Juliana's shoulders slumped.

  For several moments Ben watched her, consciously trying to keep his anger at a level high enough to block everything else.

  For of all the things he'd felt for her during the course of this day, anger was by far the safest.

  7

  Ben sat in the middle of the Chop-Chop Chinese restaurant and concentrated on his anger, trying to ignore everything else. In the course of this interminable day, he'd begun to experience feelings toward Juliana he'd just as soon not deal with—feelings that left him uncomfortably aware that he was, after all, mere flesh and blood.

  She'd also managed to make him uncomfortably aware of how long it had been since he'd really wanted a woman. But not this woman, he kept reminding himself. She hadn't changed, not really. She was the same arrogant, selfish, social-climbing, materialistic—

  A movement at his elbow distracted him and he looked around sharply. An elderly couple stood there, the woman beaming. "Juliana, is that you?" she inquired, leaning forward. "I almost didn't recognize you with your hair cut. It's adorable."

  Juliana looked confused. "Oh, hello," she said in a cautious voice, the expression on her pale face guarded. Nervously she smoothed auburn strands of the wig over one cheek.

  "You're looking lovely, my dear. Lost a little weight, I see—be careful not to overdo."

  The man smiled. "Nice to see you, Juliana. Business good, I hope?"

  "Wh-why, fine, I guess. I mean, I haven't…" Juliana looked at Ben, the light of wildness in her eyes.

  She had no idea who these people were. Angry at her though he was, he felt a flash of sympathy. He rose and offered his hand to the man. "Ben Ware," he said. "I don't believe we've met."

  The man extended his hand. "George Singleton. This is my wife, Edith. Juliana helped us sell our business a couple of years ago." He and Ben shook hands.

  Comprehension transformed Juliana's face and she beamed at the couple. "George! Edith, it's so good to see you. How're the grandkids?"

  Edith smiled happily. "Doing very well. But don't let us interrupt your dinner." Her knowing glance took in both Juliana and Ben. "Nice to meet you, Ben. You two have fun."

  She thinks there's something going on between us, but she's wrong, Ben thought darkly as he watched the couple leave. I'd sooner bed a cobra than—who mentioned bed? He swung his attention back to Juliana, eager to retreat to the relative safety of acrimony.

  She met his gaze without flinching, but he saw confusion in her fine hazel eyes. "Thanks. My mind went blank there for a minute. I didn't have a clue who they were."

  "Think nothing of it." He tried to keep his tone chilly.

  "They don't know I was sick, do they?"

  "Didn't seem to."

  "When something so catastrophic happens you forget the whole world isn't hanging on the outcome." She closed her eyes and shivered.

  He didn't want to feel this sympathy toward her so he spoke harshly. "Feeling sorry for yourself?"

  Her eyes flew wide. "No! I just… it was simply an observation."

  "Look at the bright side. At least they didn't realize you're wearing a wig."

  She recoiled and her eyes flashed. "You really are an insensitive bastard," she grated. "I'm leaving."

  "Not until one of us pays the bill."

  Their glances met and held.

  She looked away first. "I always pay my bills," she said in a deadly calm voice.

  "So do I."

  They both reached for the check, but he was quicker. For a moment he thought she'd try to snatch it from his hands, but instead she retrieved the final fortune, cookie on the tray. She crushed the cookie into bits, tugging out the fortune as if yanking a tooth.

  She read the words out loud: "You will find true love where you least expect it." She crumpled the slip of paper into a wrinkled ball and tossed it into the ashtray. "Well, whoopty-do," she said. "I'll hold my breath."

  He paid the bill, ignoring her silent disapproval. They barely spoke as she drove the Mercedes back to the ranch. Ben stared out the window at the full moon, wondering what the hell he was going to do now.

  He'd already done too much. He shouldn't have kissed her, even in the name of comfort. He shouldn't have done it—if for no other reason than that he'd wanted to so badly. She'd gotten to him. Somewhere along the line, the obligation he felt toward her had turned into a hunger that clenched his gut and sharpened his tongue.

  He quivered on the brink of an explosion. Muscles and fibers tightened and he shifted miserably on the plush seat. Physical discomfort translated into emotional displeasure and he glared out at the passing countryside.

  "You're being damned unfair to her," he said abruptly.

  She took her time answering. When she did, her words reminded him of ice cubes tinkling in a glass. "Well, now, it's not really any of your concern, is it?" She turned the car onto Buena Suerte Canyon Road.

  Ben's scalp tightened with tension. "You made it my business when you keeled over in my kitchen." He could no longer control the anger vibrating in his voice. "You made it my business when you started trotting out here day after day, hanging around and getting in the way."

  He heard her sharp intake of breath and was glad he'd hurt her, even with a low blow. Once started, he couldn't seem to stop. "You made it my business when you announced you'd reformed—remember that? Fortunately I didn't bet the farm on it, so I wasn't caught completely off guard when you came down heavy on Paige like that."

  She braked the car beside his pickup and twisted on the seat. "I did no such thing. I simply—"

  "Shut up. It's my turn." He grabbed her by the shoulders, his hands rough, but he didn't shake her as he longed to do. Instead he pressed his fingers into her flesh and half dragged her out of her leather seat.

  She batted at his hands with her own. "I won't shut up! Who do you think you are anyway, bossing me around, interfering in my relationship with my daughter—"

  She was angry. Good. That's the way he wanted to leave her. He shoved her aside, threw open the car door and stepped out. He leaned over to peer into the dark interior. "Go home, Juliana, and don't come back. There's nothing for you here—" he hesitated, searching for the right qualifier "—nothing that you want. You can't get your way with me on the strength of your bank account or your social standing or your daughter's profession. And I'm not going to sell my land, to you or for you."

  He turned and walked away, holding his aching body carefully. He hoped he'd made her mad enough that she'd start the engine and drive away and never come back. He was in too deep. He had let her get too close.

  Still, a small, vindictive corner of his soul hoped her night would be as miserable as his promised to be.

  Juliana leaped out of the car and ran after him. She couldn't leave it like this. If she did, he would be forever lost to her—as a friend, she reminded herself. That's all she wanted. He apparently didn't even want that.

  She caught him just as he reached the kitchen door. In the light streaming from wi
ndows on either side, she grabbed his arm. It was like snagging a block of granite. The force of her own momentum swung her around into his path.

  "Why are you doing this?" she cried. "I don't understand—everything was going along so well until Paige—"

  "Don't blame Paige."

  He spoke so wrathfully that she gasped. She wanted to cower before his righteous indignation, but forced herself to stand erect. "I'm not. I'm just trying to find out why all of a sudden you're acting as if—" her breath caught in her throat"—as if you hate me."

  He took a step toward her. Startled, she took a corresponding step back. "I don't hate you," he said in a strangled voice. "Go home."

  "Y-you're scaring me."

  "Then get out of here!"

  She wanted to; she didn't want to. His anger terrified her, but the thought of losing him was worse. His arm burned her fingers; nevertheless, she hung on doggedly. "I can't. You mean too much to me." It just slipped out and she stared at him, terrified by what she'd admitted. It came home to her with numbing force that she wasn't in control now, not even of her own words.

  He took another step toward her and her heel struck the low step before the door. Automatically she stepped up. But there was no escaping his cutting words. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

  "J-just what you think it means." Put your arms around me—comfort me, her thoughts compelled him. I need what you can give me. "Ben, your friendship…" She swallowed hard. "Your support and approval mean… a lot to me. So we disagree about Paige—can't we talk it over?"

  "She's your daughter, as you keep reminding me."

  "That was unfair of me. I was angry." She began to rub her hand lightly over the corded muscles of his forearm, desperately trying to reach him. She felt surrounded and overwhelmed by him, cowed by his anger and by her own need.

  "That makes it all right, then," he said sarcastically. Stepping toward her, he deliberately slammed his hips against hers, pleased when she caught her breath and went rigid.

  He lifted his hands to slide his fingers slowly through the strands of her wig and she stood perfectly still while he lifted it off. He tossed the wig aside and cupped the back of her head with one hand, holding her still for the hard, hot kiss he pressed upon her lips.